Move On

I have searched long and hard for a girl to fit my dreams. When I found her I thought myself to be in love only to be stopped by something I did not understand, just a road block on the way to love. I was not in love with her, I had no reason to not be aside from the fact I did not feel like I was in love.

Then I found the person that filled in the gaps, not necessarily my juvinile dream girl. Not exactly the girl I dreamed of, but the girl that I currently dream of. The girl that I never get boared around, the girl that I can never stay angry at and never stays angry at me. The girl whos name worms its way into every conversation I have, the girl that I am always wanting to be spending time with but too afraid to call, the girl that I never know what to do around but I always feel comftorble. Now it feels as though finally she is slipping through my fingers, its been hard enough to hold onto her for this long. I love her, but at long last I think I really going to start looking again. I want to wait, but I need to move on. I love her, but what is the point if I'll never have her? :/ Its a work in progress, I dont exactly know what is going on, she never really tells me, I have been willing to wait. I dont know. I'm just ....afraid. I cant get her out of my head, no other girl seems to be able to hold a candle to her, not even the girl that I thought was absolutely perfect. Its not that she is better than any of these other girls, its that I guess I feel like she is better for me. But like I said, maybe it is time I start really trying, because I'm not going anywhere with her, I feel like I keep getting closer, but the rainbow that she is its really impossible to actually reach her.

In other news, I have discoverd A.F.I. I love them. I am now going to be working around 60 hours a week. I have calculated that I will prolly have three hours of free time in the evening, and that is what my days will consist of until the weekend.

I still think you should dump him for me, if you dont I'm happy for you and hope things work out for you. I love you.