People :(

I think people are sick of me lately, they are tired of being around me and when they are they are very on edge. If you are not liking how I am, I don't want to change it, sorry, its just who I am. If you don't want to be around me, don't go out of your way to act like you like me or care about me. Okay? Okay. Cool. Now that that is over....

I just want to say thank you to all those who like me for who I am. I appreciate you back. :) Next: I really appreciate those that bear with me through my dumb moments. That is always nice (Barbara is prolly the most prime example of that :P).

Moving on, I have three jobs right now, one of which I don't have to do cause it is the holidays, thank God. but soon after I'm going to be as busy as I'll get out. I think its going to be nice to not have time to think about things and how they are mulling over. I prefer thinking on the bright side to be honest. I'm just kinda pissed right now. Bah! I wish people would just..... let me be, you know? I'm tired of being pulled in every which direction to do every sort of thing: "Every hates you cause of this!" "Everyone hates you cause of that!" Well please, just stop fucking hating me okay, I can't please every God Damned person so get over yourself.

Its kind ironic how the people I spend the most time with are the very same people who feel picked on cause they think I don't spend any time at all with them. Its also ironic the people who I do the most for are the same people who feel like I do nothing for them. I'm tired of it. And I don't want to talk about it cause they are also the same people who will turn me into the bad guy in the situation. GOD! IT FUCKING PISSES ME OFF WHEN PEOPLE TURN ME INTO THE BAD GUY! STOP FUCKING TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY FUCKING GUILTY CONSCIENCE DAMN IT!

i need to calm down, i'm tired, and i just had a dumb argument with a friend, i just need to vent for a minute. geeze, there's not really anyone to talk to anymore. I've got my nerd friends, but they are not too good at being vented to, i've got austin but i haven't seen him for a milenia. everyone else is just too sick of me to hear it. blegh. goodnight